rubbish buses

Buses have been generally rubbish since the invention of the timetable and the very first attempt between man and machine to marry the two together. However the general rubbishness cannot be measured simply by timing alone. When plotted on a graph it has been found that lateness, multiplied by the number of passengers on any bus service at anyone time divided by the amount that the return fare has cost provides a mathematical way of looking at the problem and thus a way to measure the cause and effect of rubbishness in sporadic areas of Bristol.

Equation

Lateness X Passengers = a? / Return Fare = Rubbish?

What is the result of this?

In Bristol, the rubbishness has reached epic proportions. Lorry drivers and public workers how staged rallies in outrage at the state of the services. Demonstrations have reached fever pitch in which effigies of some of the worst offending buses and bus routes were burnt in anger.

What will happen next?

Experts have predicted that if buses continue to expand at this level and rate of rubbish ness that by the year 2012 all rubbishness will become extinct and buses will become a geologically unstable tectonic.

Psychologists have discovered through profiling, that the kinetic energy of all double decker buses in the South West region were more than four times likely to commit an act of crime. Single decker buses were five times likely to have an addiction to gambling, buses to areas in Greater Bristol (buses formerly known as the artist Badgerline) were the services least likely to have received an ASBO and bus indicators had at some point in the last six months become a victim of crime.

The research into bus passengers in the Bristol area revealed that in direct correlation to the defaulted result of corrosive rubbishness, Passengers were deemed to be at extreme risk of buffering. This means that passengers will appear only to the driver in very slow percentages depending on the speed of traffic. Medical practitioners have warned of the danger of buffering. There are concerns that as traffic builds up in busy areas such as the Gloucester Road, City Centre and Old Market, that passengers will disappear completely.